Seducing James Potter
by LetterRead
Summary: Sirius and Remus have something to tell James, and Sirius is explaining in the only way he knows how. Just a little one-shot. MWPP ERA SBRL RLSB


**Seducing James Potter**

Three boys sat alone on a sofa in the Gryffindor common room. In the middle was ebony haired Sirius Black, with bespectacled James Potter and hazel-eyed Remus Lupin perched on his left and right respectively. The hazel-eyed boy cradled a book between his palms and was not really taking part in the current conversation.

It was time.

"Prongs," the boy in the centre began, and James lifted a questioning eyebrow in response. Pausing for a second, Sirius lifted his hand and placed it on James' thigh, waiting carefully for his friends' reaction. Feeling the weight on his leg, James quickly shifted his gaze from the hand on his thigh to Sirius' face and finally found himself looking straight down at the floor, desperately trying not to feel awkward.

"..."

"..."

"This is uncomfortable, isn't it?" Sirius said in a matter of fact tone after what felt like a lifetime to James. Then, as he removed his hand, James let out a quick blast of air from his lungs and nodded enthusiastically.

"Very," he agreed, wondering what on earth had just happened and why. He was about to ask when Sirius cut him off.

"But this," he gestured to his other hand firmly grasping Remus' thigh, "does this look uncomfortable to you?" James, clearly dimming in his old age, was utterly confused by Sirius' haphazard behaviour and began to speak in an exasperated tone.

"Of course not! You guys are always sitting like that."

"Right," Sirius was waiting for... something! As James' expression remained unchanged, Sirius rolled his eyes appropriately.

"Right?" James was tired, and this obvious thinking requirement was definitely not helping his already addled brain.

"Ok, how about this?" Sirius laid his hand on the back of James' neck and began twirling the taller boys' hair around his fingertips.

"Again, uncomfortable," James said almost immediately, sending Sirius a sheepish smile (try saying that five times fastest-- tribute to 2Padfoot00Moony9).

"But _this_ is-?" Sirius prompted James, his hand now resting on the back of Remus' neck.

"Completely ordinary?" James said very slowly, not sure if he understood what game they were playing, "You do that all the time too!"

"So…?"

"..."

"..."

"So what?"

"Are you SERIOUS?"

"No! You're Sirius! Merlin Pads, I knew you were completely insane but I didn't realise you were going senile as well. Quick Moony- we must obliviate him of all our Marauderly secrets at once!" Remus rolled his eyes as Sirius aimed a slap up the backside of James' head.

"OW! What was _that_ for?"

"Being a prat. Now look Prongs, this is important!" Sirius leant his head on James' shoulder, "How does this feel?"

"Weird," came James' reply as Sirius moved his head to rest on James' lap.

"And this?"

"Weirder," Sirius then began tracing patterns on James' forearm with his fingertips.

"This?"

"Weirdest," and with that declaration Sirius sat up completely, just managing to suppress a groan at James' confused demeanour. He sat beside his bespectacled friend shoulder to shoulder, with their hips and knees touching lightly. Finally he took James' hand and intertwined their fingers.

"How does this feel Prongs?"

"..."

"..."

Sirius had to check James was still breathing...

"Very, _very_ uncomfortable," James shuddered ever so slightly and soon Sirius was moving out of the position and shifting a little closet to their werewolf friend. James watched as Sirius mirrored their previous stance with the sandy haired boy on his other side.

"And _this_? This looks-?" Sirius raised both of his eyebrows hopefully.

"Normal!" James supplied a little angrily, he definitely didn't like this game anymore. How had they managed to have a whole conversation and he still be none the wiser as to what they were actually discussing? Shouldn't he have been clued in by now? Although with Sirius, you could never be sure if you were reading the same book, let alone on the same page as the unpredictable animagus. Eventually James had a thought.

"Listen Pads, if this is about me not being very touchy feely, I just _can't_ help it! I'm not a contact kind of guy."

"..."

"..."

"You have no idea what we're talking about do you?"

"Not a clue."

"Moooooooony, help?!" By this point, Remus had his book held at head height, covering his face so as to hide his rather obvious fits of giggles. With Sirius' whinging tone he finally spoke, enough was enough.

"Prongs," he sighed, "Think about all those things. And then think about _why_ they made you uncomfortable," he paused to give Sirius' hand, which was still linked with his own, a little squeeze.

"Then think about how you would have felt if it hadn't been _Sirius_ doing those things," the very slightest look of apprehension seemed to dawn on James' face as Sirius took over the speech.

"Think about how you would have felt, if it had been Lily."

Four eyes, two silver and two gold, were trained on the mess of expressions that was James Potter's face. After a while, the messy haired boy dared himself to speak.

"I- but you-"

"It's alright Admiral Moony- Captain Slow has finally arrived on planet realisation."

"-when did- wh?"

"One last question," Sirius grinned in triumph. He paused to make sure he had engaged James' full attention before leaning over and capturing Remus' lips in an unfortunately short-lived kiss.

"How did _that_ look?"

"I- er- well- it-" James stumbled before regaining both his composure and his customary grin, "it looked- completely perfect."


End file.
